13 years in customer service is no mean feat, so we had to ask Anisah about her secret to building confidence and resilience in her career. She attributed it to being equipped with the proper skill sets.
"I was very fortunate to be given a proper traineeship program, learning from the basics, which helped my interest in aviation customer service grow," she reminisced. "I took pride in my work even if I was the lowest in rank because I knew that I would only enjoy my work if I learned more and fell in love with all parts of the job."
“years in customer service built greater empathy in her,
a human touch on a global scale.”
She explained that her years in customer service built greater empathy in her, and she described it as a "human touch on a global scale".
"Once you put on the uniform, you need to help the customer to the best of your abilities. Putting yourself in the customer's shoes, if you encountered such a problem, you may feel very lost and need someone to help you with it."
Her work taught her that seeking help was not something to be ashamed of, and she drew strength from her seniors at work, who were also mothers. "I felt that if they could manage to be a working Mom, so could I." But her life experienced a turning point when Aniq was diagnosed with autism, and Anisah's priorities shifted to taking care of and spending more time with her family.
Time management was a skill she brought with her even as she left her job. "Becoming a Stay-at-home Mom means that I need to plan my own time. I was very used to the rostering system at work, so once I became a housewife, I realized I had to do the same myself to be punctual and efficient. I even set my alarms to remind myself what to do at what time," she told us with a laugh.
One thing that never changed was Anisah's dedication to being mindful of taking time for the whole family. She explained that her decision to leave her job was also rooted in her desire to watch her children grow up since she found the first seven years of childhood a significant period for the parent-child bond. While Aniq's condition meant that she had to spend more time with him, Anisah was also careful planning time for her other children. As her two youngest children are 5 and 2 years old, Anisah taught her two older children how to look out for Aniq and communicate with him, enabling the siblings to grow much closer in recent years.
In this process of learning, Anisah understood the need to be flexible, especially in providing care for persons with special needs—and to her, that meant embracing all of Aniq.
"Embracing means accepting everything about him wholeheartedly, including the things you cannot change. Having goals for your kids is important, but since they are your goals, you cannot always expect that they will definitely be fulfilled. The goal may not always be suitable for him. You must be flexible because you plan for them, and don't give up on them."
Such flexibility enabled her to consider Aniq's needs when the family had to leave home for certain events such as weddings and gatherings or even spend time together. Decisions on places to go are often limited by Anisah's perception of the safety of the environment and the physical friendliness and unwanted judgment.
"It got more difficult to manage as he got older. As a child, people won't say anything about it. But as he grows up, people will ask, 'Why is he still acting like a child? Why haven't you taught him how to behave properly?' When we go out, I need to consider these things because many people don't understand what he's experiencing, and I'd rather prevent him from being questioned."
She explained that not being able to perceive his condition visually increased the level of judgment from others. "People are a lot more sensitive when the disability is visible, but when they cannot see it, they make assumptions like, 'Oh, he's just spoilt'. As he got older, people started using even harsher words. I don't want to expose him to such comments."
The amount of pressure she experiences daily led her to find different outlets to take time for herself. Anisah tells us that she cherishes her daily morning walks, which she takes after her children have been sent to school. She is also thankful for the support from her husband, who frequently shows his concern for her mental well-being and spends time with her outside when the children are occupied.
"Being a Mom is a skill, not just a responsibility. You need to listen to your own body. If you need time off, you can take some time off. For me, it's going grocery shopping with my husband." - Anisah
Written by: Rachel Kok Chian Yee
Edited by: Club Rainbow (Singapore)